Bitter

This piece is a lot. I’ve sat on it and tweaked it and stared at it for months-for so long, I almost no longer recognize these sentiments anymore. But I’ve seen a few posts (included below) by Black women encouraging Black women to admit our brokenness and hold others accountable for the care they could- or could not- give us. Whether a broken heart from a loved one, a broken promise from our faith, a broken back from carrying too big a load, or a broken spirit from a crisis of conscience: sometimes the healing is just as ugly as the breaking.

Bitter is civic disobedience against patriarchy’s neverending quest to tell women to sit down, shut up, and take it.

Bitter is a word men with small vocabularies and low emotional intelligence use to describe women with big mouths and high resolve. A word for women who refuse to weep quietly and dare to express their rage out loud.

Bitter is a word women committed to the cult of true womanhood use to describe women who have committed to no longer suffer in silence and have the audacity to wear their pain in public. A word for women who betray the cult of strong Black women and admit we are broken and we are not to blame.

Bitter is a word from the impatient, embarrassed, and imbecilic who want you to get over it without admitting or unpacking why they put you under it. A word from cowards who throw rocks and hide their hands. A word from weaklings who have to close their eyes to pull the trigger then expect you not to tell the world you survived.

Bitter is resolve. Bitter is resistance. Bitter is protest. Bitter is the boldness to say no, the wounds you inflicted are not healed and I will not cover them up. I will wear them bare for you and all the world to see the damage you did.

Bitter is a battle wound. Bitter is for survivors. Bitter is a Purple Heart. Bitter is for refugees of emotional warfare who unapologetically remind their tyrants of the destruction they’re capable of causing.

Bitter is a broken mirror unflinchingly reflecting all the ugly you put out into the world back at you and your brokenness. And may every shard be a thorn in your side to torment you like a messenger of Satan and remind you that you did his bidding.